Sydney Banks very often talks about being Neutral. What is that?
We all make judgements. We do it all the time. It is how we navigate our lives in this physical realm. So, when Syd says “Be Neutral”, what is it he is saying.
- Drop all our opinions
- Forsake all our judgements.
- Drop all our beliefs.
- Don’t make any choices.
- Don’t reveal to others what we really think and feel about the given situation.
- Be a fence sitter?
- Be secretive, sly and deceive?
I think that Sydney means that we should not have closed minds. We should not always think the same thoughts. Not be ever as predictable as the sun going down and rising again in the morning.
Every 7 weeks or so, every cell in your body changes. Cells have died, and new ones have taken their place. Every moment of every day the world changes in some way. There you sit assuming that nothing for you ever will change. You will never feel or act differently. YOU THINK THAT YOU ARE FROZEN IN TIME which will go on endlessly. It is the thoughts of a fool.
When someone offers you their opinion on something and it is very different from your own opinion there is this sudden urge to defend your position.
SUDDENLY it seems so important that they will be found wanting and you will be right.
Opinion is just judgment by another name.
What Syd means by being Neutral is not that you have an opinion (that is all fine and dandy) BUT you are passive about it.
It is NOT the opinion that harms you it is what you are prepared to do to insist that “YOUR OPINION” is the right opinion that causes;
- Hurt and pain to others
- Hostility
- Defensiveness
- Lies/deception
What if…
Everything you held true was, in fact, a big fat lie?
Not possible!! Everything that I believe is true is 100% absolute truth.
No, it is not. MIND is not to be held as infallible.
MIND covers over lies (or things that fall short of its standards of behaviour) by inventing circumstances (part fact, part fiction stories) that justify why it believes a lie. A friend (really a very good one) says,
“That stunt you just pulled to secure that deal was more than a little shady.”
THOUGHT and MIND come up with (probably unspoken), “I am not in debt, and I have a much better lifestyle than you do. The ends do justify the means. You, mate, just are not as clever as I am! So there!”
AND your dubious methods now become your truth of how these things are done.
Self-deception.
Now the very clever among you will be saying, “That is all very well HICKMAN but your explanation is in fact a judgement of the person that you refer to. TOP MARKS – you are right, it is!!
The difference is that my action about their opinion is neutral. It is not for me to point out the error of everyone else’s opinions. It is for the other person to see their own self-deception and work on how they can avoid being like that.
“so, you are not going to do anything about their behaviour!”
The only person that I have control over is ME. I have no control over what other people do. Well, if I don’t resort to physically and verbally abusing them!
My best choice is to be the best person that I possibly can be by being flexible and gladly accepting the truth when I see it and rejecting the lie when I discover it. Oh, Plus, when I am in error, I will say sorry and assure myself that I will try never to do such a thing again.
“You sound too good to be true!!!!”
Yes! I agree. When I fail, though, I will admit it and try again. When others fail, I will forgive them and ask them to try never to do it again.
LIFE STOPS BEING A CONSTANT BATTLE AND becomes the life of being a metaPHor. Demonstrating to all who are willing to observe what wisdom decrees.
Knowing right from wrong is part of intellectual discernment, but mainly we instinctively know what is disgusting and what is way above acceptable.
Don’t we!?
So, having an opinion is okay, but defending it is not?
Correct.
But what if holding that opinion harms someone else? Eh?
Oh, it is not the opinion that hurts them. It’s what the holder of that opinion does and says that hurts the other person. AND I have already said that if you are neutral, no harm is done.
Just as Syd said. Be Neutral.